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Dear Eric Sir,
May the blessings of the Triple Gem be with you always !
Don’t worry. You have come to the right place. You will get helpful advice from everyone here in this forum.
Don’t panic dear Sir. With strong effort and perseverance, you can change your “gati” for the better !
Yes it’s possible… :)First of all you should minimize all types of communication with him as much as possible. If any thought about him arises in your mind, then immediately divert your mind to something you like or someone you love.
You should practice regular metta bhavana (unconditional loving kindness) in increasing order of difficulty :
(1) First you should radiate loving kindness to the people you really love and are close to your heart.
(2) Now after that (when your mind is in joyful state), then radiate loving kindness to the people you know but don’t care (neither like nor dislike).
(3) Now after this, radiate loving kindness to the people you hate/dislike.
(4) Then finally, radiate boundless loving kindness to all countless sentient beings !!!
For more details please see – https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/nanamoli/wheel007.html
Remember, nothing happens without a reason. You had to suffer this abuse from your father because in some previous lives you must had done some horrible bad kamma.
So this is a way of paying back your debt. You have to bear this with patience.
I would suggest, you should go to a Buddhist monastery and spend some time there.
Offer “dana” to the Sangha (bhikkhus). Give your service there, take care of the monks. You will surely feel better !
For example please see – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TAfniWpw4A
Devote your time in charity work.
Go to an orphanage, help the needy children there.
Serve the poor homeless elderly people.
Offer your helping hand to the cyclone affected people, earthquake victims, physically disabled people, etc, etc…
I hope you got my point.
Try to avoid dasa akusala as much as possible.
Keep your mind busy in doing meritorious deeds ! It will surely help you.
Try to cultivate the four Brahma viharas – Metta, Karuna, Mudita, Upekkha.
One more advice which can help you to reduce the incessant stress (heat) in the mind is to develop devotion (and faith) towards the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha.
You can recollect the Supreme qualities of the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha. It makes the heart delighted !
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7Y3iFeaRqw
You can also listen to the sutta chantings. That also makes the heart peaceful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RK5EHFWUMrA
And gradually when your mind is in blissful state then you can focus towards the higher Dhamma (Tilakkhana).
Hope this helps.
Our best wishes are with you.MAY ALL BEINGS ATTAIN NIBBANA !!!
One more good method of calming the mind and experiencing some Niramisa sukkha is – recollecting the supreme qualities of the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha.
Here is a nice video depicting the same (it is not a Sutta chanting) :
Whenever I see it (and listen it), I feel joy and blissful.
Here are some nice Sutta chantings which I also like :
It helps a lot to calm down the mind and even experience Niramisa sukha.
Hii everyone
May the blessings of the Triple Gem be with you always !
I think this is a good reference :
Aniccalakkhaṇavatthu
“Sabbe saṅkhārā aniccā”ti,
yadā paññāya passati;
Atha nibbindati dukkhe,
esa maggo visuddhiyā.Dukkhalakkhaṇavatthu
“Sabbe saṅkhārā dukkhā”ti,
yadā paññāya passati;
Atha nibbindati dukkhe,
esa maggo visuddhiyā.Anattalakkhaṇavatthu
“Sabbe dhammā anattā”ti,
yadā paññāya passati;
Atha nibbindati dukkhe,
esa maggo visuddhiyā.please see – Dhammapada 277,278,279
MAY ALL BEINGS ACHIEVE NIBBANA !!!
@ y not Sir/Madam (don’t know your name)
May the blessings of the Triple Gem be with you always !
I agree, infinity is really a mind boggling concept.
For instance, “pi” is an irrational number with unending string of digits. These digits go on forever !
So if you go on searching for your phone number in “pi” then you will SURELY GET IT SOMEWHERE down the line (if you search long enough) !
In fact, if you search long enough then you will find your phone number not only one time or two times but INFINITE NUMBER OF TIMES in “pi” !
For reference, please see – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjVpqiCvD4w
Also please see this – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infinite_monkey_theorem
Since samsara has no beginning and we all had infinite number of past lives, so it means that we all have been born as a human INFINITE NUMBER OF TIMES ! (and we should have heard Tilakhhana infinite number of times as well)
And among those infinite number of human births, there should be infinite number of “fortunate” births as well where we should have fulfilled the conditions of becoming a Sotapanna. So why didn’t we attain the Sotapanna stage back then ?
I know, if we arrive at the above conclusion then it will lead to a contradiction.
So that’s why I said in my previous post that we have to “assume” that if someone has attained the Sotapanna stage in this present life then it means that this is the FIRST TIME (among his infinite number of past lives as human) that he has fulfilled the conditions of becoming a Sotapanna !
And for someone who has yet not achieved the Sotapanna stage, we have to “assume” that he has NEVER fulfilled the conditions of becoming a Sotapanna in his infinite number of past lives as human !
I have wasted a lot of my time in thinking about infinity and other stuffs. Lord Buddha said that one can go mad if one continues to ponder over these questions.
So I think we should not waste our precious time (in this human life) and we should only focus on things which are relevant – understanding and realising Aniccha, Dukkha, Anatta and following the Noble 8-fold path. After all, our goal is to end all kinds of suffering by attaining Nibbana !
I wish you all the best !
MAY ALL BEINGS ACHIEVE NIBBANA !!!
Dear Akvan Sir,
Theruwan saranayai !
Thanks a lot for the Sutta reference.
Yes, of-course there are several reasons that one has not been able to attain a magga-phala even after listening to Tilakkhana many times in one’s past lives. After all, nothing happens without causes & conditions.
But my question was not that. I was trying to ask something else.
From the Sutta reference you gave :
“Endowed with these six qualities, a person is incapable of alighting on the lawfulness, the rightness of skillful mental qualities even when listening to the true Dhamma …”
My original question was something like this :
We all have heard Tilakkhana in MANY MANY of our past lives. So this is NOT the first time that we are hearing Tilakkhana.
Suppose a person “X” has attained Sotapanna stage in this life after hearing about Tilakkhana. So it means that in all those infinite number of past lives in which he heard Tilakkhana, he was endowed with those six “bad qualities” (or obstructions) that prevented him from attaining magga-phala.
However, following the logic of infinity, if samsara has no beginning then there must have been AT LEAST ONE past life of X (among his infinite number of past lives as a human) in which he was NOT endowed with those six “bad qualities”. Hence he should have attained the Sotapanna stage back then, when he heard Tilakkhana (in that past life).
But this does not seems to be true. Since X attained Sotapanna stage in this present life, which implies that in all those infinite number of past lives (in which he heard Tilakkhana) he was endowed with the six “bad qualities” which prevented him from attaining magga-phala in the past.
So this is the contradiction that I was talking about. I hope you got my point.
So to avoid this contradiction we have to “assume” that – this is the FIRST TIME (among his infinite number of past lives as a human) when X is NOT endowed with those six “bad qualities” at the time of a Buddha sasana. And hence X was able to attain the Sotapanna stage in this present life after listening Tilakhhana.
So it seems that this is the most fortunate (luckiest) time for X (among all of his infinite number of past lives as a human).
Dear Vilas Sir
May the blessings of the Triple Gem be with you always !
Yes, all the desanas of Ven. Waharaka Thero (and other Theros in Sri Lanka) are in Sinhala language.
So there is a scarcity of “pure Buddha Dhamma desanas” in English language.
However there are some desanas available on the internet. You might want to listen to this :
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zBgcGQuEhw&list=PLKr-lYdiK6lLeAp6CM69DOo_fDS5kEhXw
MAY ALL BEINGS ACHIEVE NIBBANA !!!
Dear Dr. J Chakma Sir
Thank you so much for your thoughtful answer. Yes, I agree with you on both of your points (a) and (b). I had also come to a similar conclusion.
Also, thanks a lot for your important advice. Yes you said it right.
We should not worry and waste our time on these questions. We should follow Lord Buddha’s Dhamma with our best possible efforts.May you attain Nibbana in this life itself !
Dear Siebe Sir
Thanks for your comments.
You said : “I belief the Buddha does explain in this fragment that in the heard, seen, cognised etc. there must not be the impression of an “I” who is hearing, seeing, cognising etc.”
Yes, I agree with you on this.
However this underlying perception of “I” or “me” i.e., “asmi mana” is removed only at the Arahant stage.May you attain Nibbana in this life itself !
Anyways, I think this “infinity problem” is not going to take us anywhere.
So it is better not to focus on things which are not conducive to our goal (Nibbana).
So I have settled on the conclusion that this rebirth process has not ended for me (even after infinite amount of time) because I have not truly followed the Noble 8-fold path yet.
As long as I continue to take it lightly (and not seriously follow the Noble 8-fold path), until then this rebirth process will continue to exist for me.
Thank you so much for all your answers Ven. Lal Sir.
I am really grateful to you.MAY ALL BEINGS ACHIEVE NIBBANA !!!
@ Ven. Lal Sir,
You said : “There is a presumed monkey typing on a typewriter for an eternity (in the analogy). There is no “person” (C. Saket) travelling in samsara for an eternity.”
Lord Buddha rejected both “self” and “no self” views. Right ?
So it is NOT correct to say that:(1) “there is a person”
OR
(2) “there is no person”
Everyone has a distinct set of 5 khandhas which are different for each sentient being. And also all these 5 khandhas are in flux, i.e., they are dynamic, always changing.
For example, I had a different personality when I was a kid (different set of 5 khandhas). Similarly, I was not the same person when I was a teenager, but when I read/heard the Dhamma, I have now become a different person altogether i.e., the set of 5 khandhas for my teenage was not the same as the set of 5 khandhas at the present time.
HOWEVER, the present set of 5 khandhas for me has come (as a result) from my past set of 5 khandhas (toddler – kid – teenager – now) i.e., they are “causally related.”
The same is true for each and every rebirth process that is going on from beginning-less time (infinity).
Take another example, if I touch a vessel (which is very hot) then there will be a burning sensation at my hand. The set of 5 khandhas before touching the hot vessel was different from the set of 5 khandhas after touching the hot vessel BUT they both are “causally related”.
In very simple words – There was no painful sensations at my hand before touching the hot vessel. The burning sensation (painful vedana) arose because I decided to touch that hot vessel.
I hope you got what I am trying to say.
So it is not appropriate to say that “there is a person” OR “there is no person”.
Ven. Lal Sir,
I get the idea of what you are trying to explain.
It is also very well demonstrated in this video :
Please see – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEgEJ0Uyt6Y
You said : “However, at a deeper level, there is no “person” or a “satta” that lives and sees, hears, smells, tastes, touch things, and thinks AT THE SAME TIME.
There is only a series of events that occur ONE AT A TIME. When we see, we can only see; when we hear we can only hear, etc. But each of such “events” comes in as only a brief signal at a time, and is analyzed by a single citta vithi.”Yes, I agree with you. These statements are true.
In fact Ven. Bahiya Daruciriya became an Arahant just by listening to a single discourse by Lord Buddha ! Other monks were shocked as to how a person can become an Arahant in such a short time just by listening to a single discourse.
Please see – https://suttacentral.net/ud1.10/pli/ms
Actually Ven. Bahiya Daruciriya had high level of “panna” from his previous life. That is why he was able to become an Arahant in such a short time ( within minutes ! ).
But my point is not this. I think my original question was something different.
I am unable to see the link between your answer and my question. What is the connection between these two ?
Can you kindly please elaborate ?
Thank you so much to everyone for your kind help.
I am grateful for your comments and your encouragement.
It is because of Kalana Mitta (Noble friends) like you that I have seen the right path. Thank you for guiding me in the right direction.
I am indebted to you all for your Noble support.
MAY ALL BEINGS ACHIEVE NIBBANA !!!
I think this post might help to get an idea as to whether one has attained the Sotapanna stage or not :
please see – Conditions for the four stages of Nibbana
MAY ALL BEINGS ATTAIN NIBBANA !!!
Also can you please kindly give some suggestions about my present situation.
I think I have some basic understanding of Aniccha, Dukkha, Anatta but still something is preventing me from crossing the threshold of the Sotapanna stage.
Its may be because of my gathi or may be because of my mental defilements.
Or may be my mind is not in a suitable condition right now to attain a magga-phala.
Also I have this desire of becoming a Samma Sambuddha lingering somewhere in the back of my mind.
Initially when I started searching about Buddhism on the internet, I was first exposed to Mahāyāna Buddhism (I didn’t knew about Aniccha, Dukkha, Anatta at that time). So I cultivated the aim of becoming a Samma Sambuddha in the future.
I want to help MAXIMUM number of sentient beings in attaining Nibbana and that can be done only by becoming a Samma Sambuddha. And for that I have to cultivate the perfections of the 10 paramis.
Also right from my childhood I had this mindset of becoming the best in the world, the highest in the world. (may be because of my ego)
So after hearing about Aniccha, Dukkha, Anatta there is a conflict going in my mind.
Can you please help as to how to get out of this dilemma.
