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My maternal grandparents raised me for the first 5 years of my life. I want to teach Dhamma to them in the simplest way possible so that they could attain the Sotapanna stage before they pass. I would appreciate any advice I could get here.
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Peace of Mind to Nibbāna – The Key Step
The Five Precepts – What the Buddha Meant by Them
Difference Between Giving Up Valuables and Losing Interest in Worthless
I think these posts might help you.
The important thing is not to rush but to take your time and build a solid foundation from the basics.
Remember, learning Buddhism is a process that transforms everything, from a person’s worldview to their habits.
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Thank you, Dosakkhayo.
- It also depends on the specific people in question. I guess that Taryal’s grandparents would have some ideas about kamma/kamma vipaka, but their ideas/understanding could be improved.
- It is best to start from a level of understanding they have and build up on that.
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Thank you, dosakkhayo and Dr. Lal. My grandparents are Hindus so they do have a mundane understanding of rebirth, kamma, etc. I’m travelling to Nepal toward the end of this year and will only be there for about a month, so there is limited time for me to personally guide them in person. I believe that the Dhammachakkappavattana Sutta covers the concepts one needs to be a Sotapanna, right?
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Yes. Any of the key suttas would do.
- The main point is realizing the unfruitfulness and danger of being trapped in the rebirth process.
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I decided to stop trying to teach them (and other family members and friends) out of compassion. I noticed that there are mainly 2 approaches to learning Dhamma – one is the moral approach and the other is the intellectual. For me, taking the intellectual route clearly shows that Buddha’s teachings don’t stem from a mere speculation or religious foundation. It contains rigorous analysis of mental phenomena that can be challenging to even the brightest minds and I’m often discovering something new. But for most people, this approach doesn’t seem to work. Venerable Maithree Thero told me, “Most people aren’t Scientists, but Artists.” So not intending to put any pressure onto my people, I decided to take the simpler route. But what’s up with the hostility? I frequently hear comments like,
“Sir became a Buddha follower?! his lineage will now disappear.”
“Yeah, follow Buddhism and become celibate for life!!!”
“What?! You follow Buddha?! Aren’t you a Brahmin?!”
“Guy is following Buddha religion now… it seems like his head has stopped working properly”
“I knew about Buddha’s teachings before he taught it!”
“Don’t you dare not follow Hinduism”
Even those that were relatively receptive like my grandparents, they couldn’t understand the teachings. I tried explaining the suffering associated with rebirth process in the 31 realms of existence as advised above, trying to make it as easy as I can, but they immediately claim that all of this has been addressed in Bhagavad Geeta (sacred book of Hinduism) and didn’t listen to me while I tried to clarify the fact that Buddha’s teachings are only superficially similar to Hinduism.
I have learnt that Dhamma should not be advertised. In Jethavanarama Viharaya, they put a lot of emphasis on merits which is why everyone is encouraged to participate in merit making activities. More merits you have, more accessible the truth is to you. There were those who had enough merits to become a bhikkhu after hearing a single discourse. No practitioner would want the people they care about to remain in this brutal world, but for those who aren’t able to see the value in the Triple Gem, it seems better to avoid any compulsion or inducement. Persisting can make things worse for them.
This is the conclusion I’ve made – to stop sharing the Dhamma. If anyone here has any tips or anything pertaining to this, please consider sharing.
Theruwan Saranai
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Yes, this is a complex issue. Let me think about it a bit more. I hope others have their own experiences and will share them, too.
- But something caught my eye about Taryal’s comment. I thought you previously stated (or I somehow got the idea) that your family was Buddhist. From the above comment, it appears that your family practiced Hinduism.
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Wisdom along with the Dhamma creates path towards Nibbana. Note that intelligence and wisdom are very different things.
For that one must be open minded and have the ability to analyse any given information ,example , the pleasure cycle, anicca,etc. I have also faced similar issues, people instantly try to claim that their religion already has this knowledge or that it has been known in their religion even before the Buddha ( when I used to teach them about kamma and 31 realms). Yet they suffer and are still neither satisfied nor have the knowlegde to permanently eradicate suffering. For them if their religion is “attacked” they feel their egos to be hurt. I Had a very similar incident with my hindu Uncle. Even after explaining everything to him in an easy manner and in great depth, he still said that he would follow hinduism. Its best to explain to those who are truly willing to listen and who dont try to make their religion appear great in comparison to buddha dhamma. I also shared these teachings to my mothers friend who was very amazed of it but never again asked to learn more( I think the wisdom faculty in this case was very low).I sent these teachings to my friend and she never bothered to even listen to a single sermon. She frequently posts about herself and her friends partying and going to picnics and all. If she had understood the dhamma, she would’nt have had to experience this much Pilana for something that is not true happiness.
So the best way that I feel is to try to introduce the teachings by explaining the Pleasure cycle and then Distorted Sanna. I tried with this with my cousin sister and it worked . It would then create more curiosity in them and then we can proceed further.
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1. Several factors contribute to the tendency of the majority of people (puthujjana) to reject the Buddha’s more profound teachings.
- Of course, most people agree with the “mundane versions” of “Buddhism,” which encourage moral living. Most religions share this aspect.
- However, sticking to the idea that just “observing five or eight precepts” can remove suffering falls under the wrong view of “silabbata parāmāsa,” one of the three samyojana to be broken at the Sotapanna stage.
- To stop future suffering, one’s mind must AUTOMATICALLY reject the tendency to attach to sensory inputs. As we have discussed repeatedly, attachment to sensory inputs sooner or later leads to committing akusala kamma. Trying to live a “moral life” by forcefully observing precepts will not remove that inevitability.
- Instead, one MUST follow one of the following two approaches:
(i) One must constantly contemplate the drawbacks of sensory pleasures. For that, it is necessary to understand the Paticca Samuppada process. Even then, it is difficult to stop the tendency to attach to the “built-in saññā” or the “sense of joy” upon experiencing specific sensory inputs.
(ii). One can make the process easier by understanding that such a “sense of joy” arises from a false/distorted saññā. The external world and each “lifestream” are designed to provide that false/distorted saññā. This is the greatest magic trick. See “Saññā Gives Rise to Most of the Vedanā We Experience” “Saññā Nidānā hi Papañca Saṅkhā – Immoral Thoughts Based on “Distorted Saññā”,” and “Fooled by Distorted Saññā (Sañjānāti) – Origin of Attachment (Taṇhā).” Of course, it is not easy to understand this “trick.” - For most people, such an idea is not acceptable. They cannot fathom the idea that sensory pleasures are a mirage. By the way, the word puthujjana comes from “puthu” meaning “most” and “jana” meaning “people.”
2. Trayal wrote: “I noticed that there are mainly 2 approaches to learning Dhamma – one is the moral approach and the other is the intellectual. For me, taking the intellectual route clearly shows that Buddha’s teachings don’t stem from a mere speculation or religious foundation. It contains rigorous analysis of mental phenomena that can be challenging to even the brightest minds and I’m often discovering something new. But for most people, this approach doesn’t seem to work.”
- Yes. That is what I tried to explain above. Even before getting into the fact that “saññā” is a mirage, the idea of “stopping rebirth” is a “show stopper” for many. They cannot even fathom living without “sensual pleasures.” Even those who cannot afford that many sensory pleasures are hopeful that one day they will make a lot of money to afford all sorts of such “pleasures.”
- To eliminate that notion, one must comprehend the origin of the false/distorted saññā. We are discussing that (again) in the new series of posts in the “Worldview of the Buddha” section.
- However, it is not easy. As Yash pointed out: “For that one must be open minded and have the ability to analyse any given information ,example , the pleasure cycle, anicca,etc.”
3. Most people tend to seek the “easy way out.” If someone teaches that one can be born in heaven by killing people of other religions, many are willing to accept that on faith.
- This is why the Buddha’s teachings tend to “go underground” relatively quickly. They are not easy to grasp, so the tendency to lose the “deep meanings” is very high.
- That happened in India merely 500 years after the Buddha’s passing. Instead, the Vedic teachings took hold very quickly. While they share many concepts from Buddha’s teachings, those are only superficial. Furthermore, one is guaranteed to “live forever” in a Brahma realm, which plays a huge role in ready acceptance. (Of course, they don’t realize that such a permanent existence is impossible if they examine Buddha’s teachings.) It happened with the previous Buddha (Buddha Kassapa), who appeared millions of years ago. The Vedās propagated the (twisted) teachings of Buddha Kassapa until Buddha Gotama appeared. See “Vedās Originated With Buddha Kassapa’s Teachings.”
- Thus, Vedic teachings are a mundane version of Buddhist teachings. Of course, they are much better than many other teachings practiced by puthujjana today.
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Thank you, Yash and Dr. Lal for sharing your insights.
Yash wrote: “So the best way that I feel is to try to introduce the teachings by explaining the Pleasure cycle and then Distorted Sanna. I tried with this with my cousin sister and it worked . It would then create more curiosity in them and then we can proceed further.”
I think that is a great idea, thought it didn’t work with my family members lol. When I try to inform them, they try to preach me instead. That’s why, one of the quoted comments above: “I knew about Buddha’s teachings before he taught it.”
Dr. Lal wrote: “Most people tend to seek the “easy way out.” If someone teaches that one can be born in heaven by killing people of other religions, many are willing to accept that on faith.
- This is why the Buddha’s teachings tend to “go underground” relatively quickly. They are not easy to grasp, so the tendency to lose the “deep meanings” is very high.
- That happened in India merely 500 years after the Buddha’s passing. Instead, the Vedic teachings took hold very quickly. While they share many concepts from Buddha’s teachings, those are only superficial.”
I am sick of dealing with these indolent people and their sleazy “know-it-all” attitudes. Empty-headed infantile evangelicals in the west and ritual bound yellow bellies in the east. No point in sharing the elixir to cure cancer to the infected that isn’t willing (and/or doesn’t have the capability) to take it.
Despite the saddening epiphany, I draw inspiration from Venerable Sariputta who, right before his death, taught the profound Dhamma to his Vedic mother who despite being previously hostile attained the Sotapanna stage at 100 years old. I am really tired and have no interest in directly guiding anyone else for now. But in the meantime, I’ve decided to prepare a few books and audio clips of (my understanding of) essential Dhamma concepts in local language so that those interested could learn a thing or two whenever they want. The primary goal remains to remove the defilements from my own mind. Let’s see what happens in more years to come.
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Taryal wrote: “I’ve decided to prepare a few books and audio clips of (my understanding of) essential Dhamma concepts in local language so that those interested could learn a thing or two whenever they want. The primary goal remains to remove the defilements from my own mind.”
- Noble thoughts. Same for Yash.
It is good to try once, but if the response is not welcoming, it is better not to persist. Rather than chasing people, post your teachings/ideas somewhere. Such a “passive teaching” may be the best. Those interested will seek the truth and come across it. Several years ago, I also tried to engage in debates, etc., and I saw the drawbacks. It affected my practice and could have affected the practice of some who engaged in such “debates” and verbally abused me. One person started a website just to post abusive comments on me. I don’t ever “hold a drudge,” but it could not have been good for that person’s mindset to generate such hateful thoughts.
- The Buddha also warned that chasing people to teach Dhamma (who resist) is a lowly deed like chasing after a woman who has said “no.”
- We cannot “save” all—even the Buddha could not—but we must do what we can to help those who seek the truth.
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Hello.
It’s a good idea to teach others the Dhamma.
But, before that, we should check and see if they are interested.I do live in an Islamic country, and meditation or Buddha dhamma is new to them.
A few years ago when I started to do sitting meditation or walking, my mother thought I was possessed by a spirit, or something similar.
So, it’s a good idea to not act weirdly.
I think back then I was doing the walking meditation (the one you walk so slowly that takes almost a minute to move a few steps)• There are a few types of people that I have noticed when it comes to talking about dhamma.
° The first type is usually not receptive to dhamma. If you talk too much about it they get annoyed, and give you that look. (The shut up look)
If you continue they may insult the Buddha dhamma, it’s best to step back, in this case, it can be bad kamma for them.
(I think they have strong uccheda ditthi).
They are not interested in any form of spiritual practice.° The second type, which most of the older generation in my country fall under this category.
They are the believers. My mother is part of this group, they do their prayers on time and keep the basic morality, and they do engage in meritorious actions.
When it comes to teaching them the dhamma you need to be “sneaky” about it.
Their mindset is that the Ghoran is the greatest and Muhammad is foremost.
If you say anything opposite to that they will not listen.
But, you can show them videos like out-of-body experiences and things like that they do accept them.
As long as what you say doesn’t go beyond their understanding they will listen even for hours. But if you go too deep they may take it as a nuisance.
It’s easier to just encourage them to do more merits than to give them a dhamma talk. I did try they got sleepy, and they had that look of wanting to run away!
( They do have a strong sassata ditthi)° The third type, most of the younger generation falls under this category.
It’s easier to talk to and teach the Dhamma. But, still have to do a little test.
Like asking them if they are interested in things like out-of-body experiences.
Or see if they are interested in knowing how the mind works.
My two younger brothers fall under this category.
So, it’s not difficult to talk to or to teach them the dhamma. And yes they do understand it, and they don’t fall sleep.
But the problem is they don’t practice much. There are too many distractions, social media, friends, movies etc…
They do try to change, but after a while, they go back to their old habits.
All I can do for them is give them the dhamma the rest is up to them.
It’s not easy for them or anybody else “kilesa” is strong. To get rid of them, you need to give it all you got.
( The younger generation leans toward uccheda ditthi)The above category it’s not a fixed thing.
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Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts about this complex issue, Amin.
- It provides an aspect/point of view from a different angle.
- I hope more will share their experiences, too. I suspect those born in Western countries would have another perspective. Many of them look at it from a scientific or Christian point of view.
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Many non-Buddhists hold a deep respect for Lord Buddha and believe that the teachings of Buddhism (Buddha Dhamma) can lead to genuine happiness. They may only be missing certain paramis or Kusalas to fully embark on this path. A notable example of this is Sadguru Sri Madusudan(a Hindu devotee), who visited the Jethavaranama monastery recently.
See Visit of Sadguru Sri Madhusudan Sai to our monastery
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