Reply To: Need advice to teach Dhamma to grandparents

#53218
taryal
Participant

I decided to stop trying to teach them (and other family members and friends) out of compassion. I noticed that there are mainly 2 approaches to learning Dhamma – one is the moral approach and the other is the intellectual. For me, taking the intellectual route clearly shows that Buddha’s teachings don’t stem from a mere speculation or religious foundation. It contains rigorous analysis of mental phenomena that can be challenging to even the brightest minds and I’m often discovering something new. But for most people, this approach doesn’t seem to work. Venerable Maithree Thero told me, “Most people aren’t Scientists, but Artists.” So not intending to put any pressure onto my people, I decided to take the simpler route. But what’s up with the hostility? I frequently hear comments like,

“Sir became a Buddha follower?! his lineage will now disappear.”

“Yeah, follow Buddhism and become celibate for life!!!”

“What?! You follow Buddha?! Aren’t you a Brahmin?!”

“Guy is following Buddha religion now… it seems like his head has stopped working properly”

“I knew about Buddha’s teachings before he taught it!”

“Don’t you dare not follow Hinduism”

Even those that were relatively receptive like my grandparents, they couldn’t understand the teachings. I tried explaining the suffering associated with rebirth process in the 31 realms of existence as advised above, trying to make it as easy as I can, but they immediately claim that all of this has been addressed in Bhagavad Geeta (sacred book of Hinduism) and didn’t listen to me while I tried to clarify the fact that Buddha’s teachings are only superficially similar to Hinduism.

I have learnt that Dhamma should not be advertised. In Jethavanarama Viharaya, they put a lot of emphasis on merits which is why everyone is encouraged to participate in merit making activities. More merits you have, more accessible the truth is to you. There were those who had enough merits to become a bhikkhu after hearing a single discourse. No practitioner would want the people they care about to remain in this brutal world, but for those who aren’t able to see the value in the Triple Gem, it seems better to avoid any compulsion or inducement. Persisting can make things worse for them.

This is the conclusion I’ve made – to stop sharing the Dhamma. If anyone here has any tips or anything pertaining to this, please consider sharing.

Theruwan Saranai

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