At present, there is just ‘new-forming’ which is done by temporary 5 aggregates that formed in the past.
There is no “I” as an absolute ruler of this forming process. Just forming is there.
Feeling as “I or soul” is also formed at every moment by our Avijja.
This forming based on our kilesa forms fear and suffering every moment.
- This fear and suffering chase us to urge to arise new forming (generate more sankhara.)
- This fear and suffering pop up because we formed energy in the past through our strong intentions. But it is uncontrollable.
We can only create new processes with sankhara. After that, we lose control, because now the kammic effects of our initial action start new processes. There is no “Me or I” as controller of the cause and effect process. The feeling of “I” as the controller is an illusion made by past formation based on miccha ditthi.
Making a rough analogy, it is like a person hit by a ricocheting bullet that he shot.
- He can only shoot bullets. He cannot control the ricochet process.
For example, I had had an obsession with suppressing wrong thinking excessively.
- When bad thoughts popped up without my intention, I blamed myself.
- With those deeds, I couldn’t remove bad thoughts.
- To make matters worse, not only stronger bad thoughts but also blaming thoughts poped up together, automatically.
That process was made by my past bad intention. I made that by myself, but I couldn’t control it, like the ricochet of the bullet.
- I didn’t come up with that bad thought intentionally. It popped up itself by a condition formed in the past.
- It can apply to all kinds of thinking that pop up in our minds automatically.
In the case above, there was no “me” controlling that.
- Arising thought, which was made by past intention, initiated more new processes.
The only thing we do in Akusala Mula Paticca samuppada is to initiate citta flow by our new present intention. We cannot control what happens next. Forming intention is the only thing we can control.
But, the right of control is also made by our good kamma. It is not free. I perceive this because I removed autism by meditation.
- Before meditation, I was dragged by stressful thought of autism and obsession that had been made by past bad intention.
We know many people who suffer from their citta flow which was made by their own bad intentions, but cannot control the arising of subsequent mental suffering and unwholesome intentions.
- As far as the temporary state of citta flow, they resemble petas (hungry ghosts) or animals.
- Petas can suffer for eons because it cannot control its Citta flow. But a human can control with mindfulness.
Understanding the above, I could understand that assada (intentional thinking about sensual pleasure) makes harsh suffering.
Because it is an intense, harsh formation process, it is like being hit by ricochet bullets that are shot from a machine gun.
There is no pleasure feeling and painful feeling, just less painful and very painful.
But the illusion made by our delusion covers our minds. That is why we constantly think about sensual pleasure.
To break that, we must initiate Kusala citta flow which an Ariya can maintain.
The Sammasambuddha is the only one who can discover this process.
He is the first one (in his Buddha Sasana) who can teach how to construct the citta flow that leads to Nibbana.
Every Kusala Citta in a mind originates from the teachings of the Supreme Buddha. Without a Buddha, we would not know how to generate kusala citta.
- This is why Bhavana (mindful meditation) is the best way to pay homage to the Buddha.
- Bhavana is the same as homaging Buddha.
- Conversely, an homage to Buddha is Bhavana also. It is suitable for both Ariyas and Puttujanas.
