No life was never a joy ride . But before the techings of Buddha came to my understanding I always worked hard to counter sufferings and kept on creating what I considered then as happiness . Now there is no such desire to pursue for those so called happiness.But this creates a dullness a void. When you stop chasing it kicks in a restlessness.Only thing I know for sure I want to chase is Buddha’s teachings.But these teachings gradually increase the urge to renunciate , which is not possible rt now. And later who knows .