Siebe:
I do not know whether you are addressing me specifically here. Be that as it may,yes, of course, I personally am not free of asmi mani (far from it, in fact). Arahants Anugami are at the Stage to struggle with that.
Also, you may have misinterpreted what I meant by ‘I hope I have been clear.’ I meant exactly that (that I left no room for misunderstanding), not in the sense when a teacher admonishingly tells a classroom of pupils sternly ‘I hope I have been clear’ (‘be sure to do as I say’; ‘do not come up with excuses later’)
In fact, these last two days I have been subjected to such mood swings that I found myself asking: so which one is the real me? that of 8 hours ago, that of 2 hours ago, that of now? This is where the no self, no no-self doctrine came in. I could not tell which. So where is ‘this one’ that does not change?
Yet, there is still a sense of a ‘me’. I give an instance from personal experience:
I must have been in my teens or early twenties. When I woke up I could not identify anything around me. MY name even I could not remember. What family name, what town, what country? Nothing. I was aware only that I was aware. ‘Of what’ has no sense. I was just aware. This was the ‘I’ stripped of all qualities, of all attributes; so what difference could there be between this ‘I’ that is ‘me’ and those ‘I’ s of all others? Because ‘I’ still wanted to know who ‘I’ was.
‘Please, do not ignore the fact that there is a sense of me which is constant over time’ As you see, I am not ignoring that.
More importantly, I sense that you you have taken offence (‘ and do not suggest i am the only deluded person’) either with the last sentence in my post, or with something else I said. And as this is not the first time this has happened (not with regard to you), I am seriously considering opting out of the Forum because, take my word for it, to give offence or hurt another in any way is never my intention. For another thing, I have long been aware that I am easily misunderstood (in life, not only on here)despite all the pains I take to prevent it – and even THAT is at times misunderstood as unnecessary detail obscuring the issue and as causing the very misunderstanding.
I hope(?) I have been understood.
Much Metta to all