“.. daydreaming about pretty girls or delicious food (in my mind they’re not much different). The latter are a lot more difficult to deal with, not because they’re any harder to catch or end but because a) I really want to get lost in these greedy thoughts, b) that’s how I’ve always “stopped” hateful thoughts. I realize now that’s counter-productive (the greed will just turn to hate when I don’t get whatever I’m fantasizing about) but it’s still a pain.”
This is a really critical point.
“Kama raga” or craving for sense pleasures is intensified by constantly thinking about them (vaci sankhara). Most people do not understand this, but you seem to be getting this point.
For example, suppose one stops eating candy bars in an effort to get out of that habit. But if he keeps thinking about it, then that habit will never go away.
Of course, most people do this in sexual situations. They do not realize how addictive that is. The key to get rid of such habits is to find an alternate “focus point” for the mind, i.e., to find an alternative thing to work on or think about: “How Habits are Formed and Broken – A Scientific View“.
A powerful technique is to think about the bad consequences of keeping that bad habit, i.e., keep “day dreaming” about it.
Another is generating hateful thoughts (still vaci sankhara) about other people. Even if one does not say a single bad thing to that person, generating such hateful thoughts has the same effect. Those will also lead to similar kamma vipaka, as if one said those things out loud: “Correct Meaning of Vacī Sankhāra“.
You seemed to have read this post. I am emphasizing this for the benefit of others who may not have read it.
I am glad to see that you are making progress. The hardest is to get started. Once you pick up some speed, it will get much better.