On Principles to cultivate and live by

Hi Lodonyo,
What you describe here was also a big part of my world view in the past. So I can understand you at least a bit. Let me answer your questions as good as I can.

Questions:
1. Is it a good idea to just “admit” the reality of merit giving, despite any thoughts of it being contrived or “selfish”. Should I make a concerted effort every day to simply accumulate and dedicate merit however I can as a general gathi-cultivator??? Should I strive against any behavior that says otherwise?

One should learn the Buddha Dhamma and contemplate about it so that one can really feel joy related to giving. One needs compassion and a good heart. That comes with the understanding of the true nature of this world or Tilakkhana. You should do Satipattana and therefore act with sati all day. Whatever comes to the mind must be seen with sati, whether it is good/moral, neutral/functional, bad/unmoral. Discard all unmoral thinking, stop it with force if nothing helps. After a certain time your mind will know right from wrong.

Is giving mental/physical offerings on a personal altar any good at all? Do beings in paralowa/loka or upper realms really benefit from such things and what about a sotapanna abandoning religious activities? My wife claims to have (siddhi)powers of sight and while I act & believe in the spirit realms/deva realms I don’t know enough about it to live as if i’m interacting with it?

As long as one cannot perceive the other realms as real there is no need to force oneself to offer something. But you could train it, just a little offer every day, offered with compassion.

3.Is it a good idea to create a bhavana(?)/meditation that is something like “is what i’m doing right now something I want to happen again and again?” according to pati-icca samu-upada?

This is what we have to do. We cultivate our gathi in a way that there is no future bhava. This gathi is cultivated by understanding the true nature of this world. In this way one will lose all attachments. You do it with anapana and satipattana every day. You should do it in stting meditation as well as in daily activities. It need an effort or better it needs the satara iddhipada.

4.Is it a good idea to generate energy focusing on creating a gathi-character that “meditates often” despite the nuance of supramundane/mundane objects. and…
Is it a generally good idea to think of “creating a gathi” as a kind of useful tool in general, with the thought of ‘future’ jati and other births in mind? For instance with my worldly concerns it could be something like “I’m shifting my gathi to helping people with x-problem and by using -x solution as a gifts to my future births”???

Same as in #3 above. The habit of meditation brings a calm mind which can lose attachments easier. If you follow the 8fold path there is no need to cultivate another “rescuer-bhava”, instead you should cultivate Samadhi towards Nibbana, hence a bhava that drifts to total release. Maybe you should read (again) the Bhavana section on Lals website. I do not know which of the five hindrances (pancanivarana) is blocking you most. It only feels like thina middha and vicikicca. I really do not want to offend you in any way. Excuse me, if you feel uneasy because of anything I write.

A mind is like a radio. If you are in line with the right wave your life will be better overall even if it’s not a rich life or life you would dream of it will be very good.

What I suggest is to practice chanting with Abhya Thero. Once chants create proper wave structure in your mind you will see life is getting better like you would be touched by a supernatural force but of course those are just workings of proper Buddhist practice.

Once your mind is set in the right direction then the life will follow to be like that or at least your experience of life. This is my direct experience which I actually experienced and still researching on that how the mind actually changes the “wave” of life direction you are floating. What you experience you just going against life so there is friction.

I do not know if Lal agrees (if not, please delete) but there is Abhya thero mentioned on this site who have such chants to practice with

You need to learn the meaning of those (which you can find on youtube of his english discourses) after couple days of listening and chantings with understanding and contemplating you will feel refreshed with “will” to live and cope with things.

I see a lot of good advice. Here are a few more.

Merit giving is always good. You can “give” only after “gaining”. But that “gain” could come in many ways: when one gives to the poor, animals, and especially to bhikkhus, one “gains” merits for oneself, which one can the share with all beings, in one’s mid. One can also gain by doing satipatthana (being mindful). When one has avoided a bad kamma by being mindful, one will feel the “joy”, which again one share, etc. One can also gain by doing vipassana (insight meditation) by contemplating on Dhamma concepts (dasa akusala, five precepts, anicca, dukkha, anatta, paticca samuppada, etc).

One can gain “niramisa sukha” or “cooling down” just living a simple life. When we try to accumulate too many material things (thinking that they will provide us with pleasures), they only increase the burdens that we are already carrying. That does not mean one should give up everything. One needs certain things live this life. But the minimum one can live is the best. One has to be wise in making decisions though. For example, there is no point in paying for a “high end car” costing a lot money, but one should not buy a cheap car that breaks down often too (if one can afford); buying a “really cheap” car would only add more problems to handle, when it starts breaking down.

By the way, I would not worry about whether devas exist or not. We can see the suffering of humans and especially animals. Think about the pain suffered by an animal while being eaten alive or an old person without anyone to help. When I see those old people begging, I wonder what they would do when they get sick. That generates a lot of compassion. Then it is only natural to give merits to all such beings in this world. There are countless beings in much worse conditions.

So, we must not be depressed even if we do have problems. Everyone does. We just need to try to minimize the suffering by acting mindfully. Most of the things that we can do are not that hard to do. We just need to slowly start seeing the “hidden suffering” in things that we perceive to provide pleasure. Just like a fish bites into a “tasty looking” worm on a hook, we tend to overlook the suffering hidden in sense pleasures. Simple life is a happy life.

It may be a good idea to read of the posts in the following sections. Each person’s level of understanding is different. So, one can read different sections and see which ones resonate with oneself.
“Moral Living and Fundamentals”
“Living Dhamma“

Also, I want to tell you to contemplate on something as “inner instinct” and try to find within yourself. Start by thinking about it. I do not know if related to Gandhabba or anything else, or if Buddha spoke about it but if you feel disconnected from the “path” of the worldly way is good to seek help within yourself. There is something which you can get in contact with so to speak on the base of mental level. It’s like an inner guide which can enhance your wisdom. Do not force yourself to find it, it will come as you will just give it a sign.

I can not really explain it rationally or even in Buddha Dhamma terms but there is something like that which you can reach with your meditation or contemplation even if you are just novice you can work your way for it and ask it for guidance.

Try to find that inner guide and inner instinct just by digesting the idea, if you know there is something like that your mind will find it. It’s interesting stuff but I do not know if it’s Gandabbha or Deva or part of your mind I can only experience results and that there is such thing.