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Yesterday, I got deeply into samadhi – the deepest I’ve been so far, and it’s not even close. I thought to myself, “I just don’t believe it”, except I was so calm and in the zone that it wasn’t even possible for me to feel the kind of shock that you would associate with that sentiment.
I have been ill for the past five days and have been home as a result. Instead of distracting myself, I thought I would use that time to “do the work”, as I call it.
That culminated in me rapidly progressing last night. It was something like this – I was focusing on establishing the intentions behind my conduct so unwaveringly (i.e., is it akusala or is it kusala?) that I quickly started to see through all the mental games that I had been playing. Before long, it was as if I was being so radically honest with myself that it led to me effortlessly and intuitively discarding akusala and continuing with what was kusala. I realised that there was so much tension in my mind, so much vexation that had been dictating my actions.
I felt very calm yet very awake, energized too. When I went to bed, I meditated some more and it felt unbelievably easy. Things started to feel expansive. Like my physical body was too small to contain me. Everything felt very light. I hasten to say the next part, but I will anyway – it felt divine. Truly, truly divine. I started thinking to myself, “may all beings attain the supreme bliss of Nibbana” and meaning it with every fibre of my being. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes.
I was hesitant to share this experience because I’m an introvert and have always kept my cards close to my chest. But after last night, I realise that so much of that kind of thinking is just mental traps that we take as being ‘real’.
Lal, and everyone here who I have learned so much from, you have no idea how grateful I am.
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Thank you for the update, Dawson!
- We are glad to hear about your progress. Keep it up. Things can move fast under the right conditions. Try to maintain this mindset. Even if you lose it, you can regain it if you keep trying. Eventually, it becomes easier to get back to it. It is indeed a samādhi.
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