Hi brother Saurabh, I don’t know what level your understanding is at, maybe it is higher as I think.
But the point I want to comment on is your fear of being born in the apaya realm.
In my opinion, this fear should not create a thick wall to move from Sila lokiya to lokutarra. I mean, you do good because there are benefits or rewards… In my understanding, this is the result of reflecting on Mr. Lal’s writing. The quality of sotapanna is truly understanding the fruitlessness of violating morals because it will lead to greater suffering.
Then automatically the precepts will be maintained at all times until the bad traits are changed, so that the condition of being born in the apaya to bear fruit no longer exists.
For example, in this life, if you have a tendency to get angry you create conditions for you to end up in prison in the future (because being angry can make you hit people and so on).
My suggestion, often discuss it / read / reflect on the concept of dhamma.. Maybe in this digital age, making friends with noble people is getting simpler, like this website, if there are no noble people in your area.
Meditate often on anicca, dukkha, anatta, asubha or paticca samuppada, the 4 noble truths from the moment your eyes open until you fall asleep (it is difficult but you will get used to it if you do it continuously)
Try to practice the 8 fold path as much as you can..
There will be a day when You understand and know that this kind of action will close the condition to the apaya realm and know the taste of nibbana, that moment is not made up, so that your view of every moment in this world is very clear about anicca, dukkha, anatta, asubha, and will followed by your behavior or tendency to avoid moral or immoral actions based on kilesa..
I also want to ask for opinions from Mr. Lal and friends here, my thought complications:
In recent times I have been contemplating about asankhata and sankhata, in my opinion contemplating the concepts of the Buddha’s dhamma is a form of meditation for Lokutarra understanding because in the mind, we contemplate things that are rooted in VIJJA. while beings are born in samsara because they have thoughts about worldly concepts (conditioned) in the paticca samuppada pattern that is rooted in Avijja..
When continuously contemplating the concept of the Buddha’s dhamma is done, one will gain awareness to reduce attachment to world so that the shackles of the mind will collapse until reaching arahanthood..
My weakness since thinking about this concept I became lazy to meditate formally.
The advantage is that in the past from opening my eyes until falling asleep maybe my mind was 0.1% alert to bad thoughts, words, and deeds. But now it has increased maybe 2-5% in 17 hours..
Hopefully Mr. @Lal will comment on my complicated thoughts, is it deviant? Thank you🙏🙏🙏