The story of Ugga, who was an anagami, serves as an example. Ugga, a man with 4 wives, became an anagami after listening to a discourse by Lord Buddha. As an anagami, he had no attachment to the world (Kāma loka). He told his 4 wives that they could either stay, in which case he would consider them as sisters, or leave to find new husbands. Despite no longer having romantic attachments, he allowed them to stay so they could accumulate Kusulas. Even though he no longer had romantic attachments, he still wished them well.
Sisters, I’ve undertaken the five training rules with celibacy as the fifth.
‘mayā kho, bhaginiyo, brahmacariyapañcamāni sikkhāpadāni samādinnāni.
If you wish, you may stay here, enjoy my wealth, and do good deeds. Or you can return to your own family.
Yā icchati sā idheva bhoge ca bhuñjatu puññāni ca karotu, sakāni vā ñātikulāni gacchatu.
Or would you prefer if I gave you to another man?’
Hoti vā pana purisādhippāyo, kassa vo dammī’ti?
When I said this, my eldest wife said to me:
Evaṁ vutte, sā, bhante, jeṭṭhā pajāpati maṁ etadavoca:
‘Master, please give me to such-and-such a man.’
‘itthannāmassa maṁ, ayyaputta, purisassa dehī’ti.
Then I summoned that man. Taking my wife with my left hand and a ceremonial vase with my right, I presented her to that man with the pouring of water.
Atha kho ahaṁ, bhante, taṁ purisaṁ pakkosāpetvā vāmena hatthena pajāpatiṁ gahetvā dakkhiṇena hatthena bhiṅgāraṁ gahetvā tassa purisassa oṇojesiṁ.
But I can’t recall getting upset while giving away my teenage wife.
Komāriṁ kho panāhaṁ, bhante, dāraṁ pariccajanto nābhijānāmi cittassa aññathattaṁ.
