Tobias G

Hello Jaro,
I read my own lines above after those 5 years and I must say I described that very well at the time. What has happened since then? Well, my mind has become very calm, various unwholesome social contacts and behaviors no longer exist, the Buddha Dhamma is understood in greater depth. My faith in the Buddha, the Dhamma, the Sangha is unwavering. In endless loops, I see people engaging in the same misconceptions and subsequent deeds. During meditation I often stay longer in samma samadhi with bliss. This is because one grasps the uselessness of all sankhara.

What has remained of Akusala? Very few desires (chocolate, good coffee, Asian food), now and then some annoyance and irritation. I do not watch TV, but sometimes still a movie or documentary. Under pressure, Uddhacca and Mana still appear. I can use my energy specifically for tasks and I hardly get distracted. Depression became impossible.

Since I have to take care of a family and also secure their future, I have too little time for Dhamma. But I contemplate even during car rides about just experienced situations. I can really meditate only on weekends, the approach is as described above 5 years ago :-)