Dear lal,
It gets harder whenever I try to control my sexual urges, and it makes the mind agitated whenever I try to meditate on its asubha nature, during the formal meditation i feel calm and relaxed but after that i become loose after few days It was that for 15 days straight i was doing asubha bhavana with etan Santan Etan Panitan as well, but on the 16th day i became loose(didn’t meditate) and then masturbated later. It keeps happening with me that for the first few days i am extremely mindful of my thoughts but after that i become loose, start thinking about such thoughts and then later indulge in pornography and then masturbation. It really hurts that i lose again and again. I do keep myself busy from Monday to Friday but it becomes stronger on the weekends. It is usually that when i bath the mind gets tempted to masturbate. I do go for hard physical workouts and study,but still these things affect me.
I do believe that i have lost cravings for material possessions as well but still these things affect me. Please can you tell what should I do?
Regards
A Quest to Recover Buddha's True Teachings