I had missed this. Or it may also be I had read it but forgot. Anyway,
I was struck by “when I closed my eyes, I always saw a flashing signal, a black point flashing, a different thing, and then an intense anguish inexplicable…(still now, sometimes I see it…” because there is a connection there to what I experience, though not all that often lately.
In my case I see bright lights, like stars, sparkling, of different colours coming out of my eyes and darting out in different directions around me, but staying around me at the same time. They keep darting ,as it appears to me, out of my eyes at the start, then around the room, but always in different directions away from me. It happens when I have a powerful dream, but not always. I also have the feeling that it was the lights that opened my eyes to bring an end to the dream. No experience of anguish though. Marvel, wonder, rather. There also is a slight strain felt in the eyeballs.
“The debt of gratitude that we all have with you, Mr. Ven. Lal, is inestimable” I keep repeating that over and over again.
may you attain the Deathless.