Reply To: How to cope with loneliness


The need for interaction with other humans is inherent in a human. It is like “kama guna” that I discussed in the post “Kāma Guṇa – Origin of Attachment (Tanhā).”

The need for social interactions starts to diminish as one attains higher and higher magga phala starting as a Sotapanna Anugami. An Ariya (Noble Person) is one who starts seeing that things in this world (including the need for “social life”) have no value.
– At that point, one just tends to interact with similar minded people who are also on the Noble Path. Such interactions are different from social interactions like “get together and have a good time.”

The need for attention is critically important in the early years, as a baby. That is when we develop our character with the influence of especially the parents.

It seems to me Wta, that you seem to have a good family, even though you did not get along with your Dad. Otherwise, you would not be coming to this website and the forum.
– My advice regarding your Dad is to try to be respectful to him and not do anything to aggravate him. It could just be that your personalities (which are part of “gati“; see below) are different. We MUST respect our parents no matter how bad they are. It is very hard to get a human body (you may not know much about gandhabba yet), and we have a human body thanks to our parents.
– Having conflicts with those who are close leads to an agitated state of mind. That is especially true regarding a parent.
– Staying away is better than having arguments. But it is best if you can slowly improve bonds with the parents and family. Take the initiative to be respectful to the parents, even if it is hard.

My other suggestion is to continue learning Dhamma. Listen to those desana that Johnny and Christian suggested if you find them useful. If you have a temple closeby go there and participate in the activities there. Not all temples are the same. But that is much better than getting together with bad friends, having bad social interactions. Participating in the forum and discussing Dhamma concepts with like-minded people is another. When you are on the path, Dhamma will direct you in the right direction, and you will start connecting with like-minded people.
– Many people, especially young people, fall into the trap of trying to make friends just to overcome loneliness. Many start associating with bad people and develop bad habits.

The joy of Dhamma is unlike another. One comprehending Dhamma will never be lonely.

You may want to read the following section when you have time (just pick topics of interest):
Moral Living and Fundamentals

These are some initial thoughts. If you have specific issues we can discuss.

P.S. I mentioned “gati” (pronounced “gathi”) above. Those are one’s character/habits; see, “The Law of Attraction, Habits, Character (Gati), and Cravings (Asavas)” and the posts referred to in there.