Those pages were cough enlightening. takes off sunglasses
:)
The first one, especially, makes a lot of the past fall in place. Like that one seriously stupid stunt I pulled when younger (drinking raw chicken blood to creep out a cute coworker), I’m very lucky I didn’t happen to have (at that time) a matching seed for deathly illness by food poisoning! And so far my sister’s habit of texting while driving… but it takes less than 1/10th a second for…
As for the loud music thing, it’s gonna be a loooong time before I can turn my back on one of my “key identifying traits” I’ve had since my age was a single digit. :( For the moment I’m trying on most days to limit the pep-up tunes when I “need” them: the morning and during exercise; sometimes I’m still in the wake-up process an hour after lifting what sometimes feels like a 30-lb head off my pillow, lifting my 60-lb butt off the bed, then dragging my pair of 45-lb feet away from bed. :(
In related news, I’m successfully reducing my bad habit of too much caffeine! No more coffee except in the morning (if I do), and if I “need” caffeine later I’ll just drink tea. And I need to force myself to stay away from energy drinks, no matter how delicious the pina-colada- and cotton-candy-flavored ones are. It might be healthier to just eat cotton candy and drink pina coladas anyway! Not that I plan to start…
I blame part of my lack of morning motivation to some of my prescriptions having that damnable drowsiness side-effect. :( But hey, I rarely have insomnia issues anymore like I’d battled most my life!
Oh, this morning I was remembering some irritating things someone said and I was in a foul mood for it — same ol’ anger-outta-nowhere thing except almost as intense as I’m used to before I was put on the anti-bipolar meds! Could barely start laundry because my mind was too fiery until I ranted over text to my brother about it to get a little of it out of my head.
Neither essential oils nor calming background noise (waterfall and birdsong and such, since I figured that’d be more effective on my mood than an air conditioner and box fan — I partially blame perpetual “need” for white noise on headache-inducing tinnitus should I let things get too quiet) was doing its job. Wasn’t until I saw a crack through the red haze just long enough to remember to check for replies to this thread — and reading then spending about an hour texting about those links and others with my brother (helps “cement” what I’ve learned, even if I’m just copy-pasting key passages to FaceBook) did the same for me as when I was in the Chinese restaurant!
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By the by, speaking of bipolar (I don’t know if I mentioned I’m diagnosed manic-depressive bipolar before this post?) last night I found a comment on a YouTube video on that mental illness that hit home hard. I’ll leave it on my blog for those interested (may help explain [not excuse] some of my more insane moments that I still feel bad about :( ) instead of copy-pasting here so I don’t litter the PD forums with probably irrelevant walls of text. :)
Maybe someone here experiences (first-/second-/third-hand) similar “Life on Hard-Mode” issues who has advice for how to deal with sudden random plunges into the abyss? Or maybe highlights the importance of mental/emotional balance? I dunno, just felt like sharing and typing a bit as that helps soothe the head. :)