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Earlier this year, during my visit to my home country, Nepal, I had the privilege of traveling to Sri Lanka to visit the Jethavanarama Buddhist Monastery. After spending a couple of weeks in the dense city of Kathmandu, I boarded a flight to Colombo. As the aircraft took off, I found myself deep in thought, wondering what I would take away from this trip.
About 40 minutes into the flight, the plane started shaking violently. It was so intense that, for a moment, I felt as if I were sitting at the back of an old Nepali bus driving on an off-road trail. The passengers were visibly frightened—some even got out of their seats, only to be sternly instructed by the flight attendants to remain seated. A relatively old Tibetan lady sitting next to me took out a book and began chanting a sutra. The turbulence continued, and my mind couldn’t help but recall the two tragic plane crashes that had transpired just a week prior in Afghanistan and South Korea. People were saying it was an unlucky time for air travel. Although I am not superstitious, I am aware of how mysteriously complex yet undeniable the workings of cause and effect can be. “Perhaps the next one is Sri Lanka,” I thought.
This also reminded me of the wise words of a Thero when I had once asked him whether it was okay to take a break from Dhamma due to my sensory issues. He had said, “It is okay, but we should not forget that we do not know when we are going to die.” At that moment, I realized how much I had yet to accomplish—I had only begun exploring the truth, and there was so much work left to be done. “I still need to remove kama raga and effectively share the profound teachings with family and friends. But now, I might not be able to do it.” These thoughts circulated in my mind as the turbulence continued. Fortunately, the plane eventually stabilized, and a few hours later, we landed safely. The relief among the passengers was immense. In that moment, it felt like one of the greatest joys a person could experience.
I share this experience because I later came to view it differently after learning an important concept at the Jethavanarama Monastery—one that completely changed my perspective. It was the realization that the common belief that external things contain intrinsic pleasure is ultimately an illusion.
The Illusion of Intrinsic Pleasure
Let’s assume that an object has x amount of happiness within it. If we obtain two such objects, we should feel 2x happiness. If we add another, the total should be 3x. But how many do we need to feel completely satisfied? The answer is unclear because true satisfaction cannot be quantified in this way.
Take, for example, a delicious meal. It is commonly believed that eating good food brings happiness, and initially, it does feel pleasurable. But for how long? As a person continues eating, the “pleasantness” gradually diminishes until it disappears once they are full. If they are force-fed beyond that point, they may even become repulsed by it. Yet, after some time, when hunger returns, they will crave that same food again, and the cycle repeats. If pleasure were an inherent property of the food, where does it go? And more importantly, where did the initial pleasure come from in the first place?
This is where the connection between suffering and happiness becomes evident.
Suffering and Happiness – Two Sides of the Same Coin
Imagine a person carrying a 50 kg sack of cement on their head for ten minutes. They experience immense pressure, but the moment the weight is lifted, they feel great relief. In this scenario, the sense of pleasure (happiness) arises directly from the removal of pressure (suffering). This pattern extends to all perceived pleasures:
- Weekends wouldn’t feel enjoyable without the exhaustion of weekdays.
- A good GPA wouldn’t bring joy if the test hadn’t been difficult.
- Summer wouldn’t be pleasant without the contrast of freezing winters.
Thus, pleasure is not an inherent quality of any object or experience; rather, it is merely the temporary alleviation of vexation. If one wanted to maximize happiness in this world, they would have to maximize suffering first and then find a way to reduce it. The passengers on my flight felt immense relief and joy when we landed safely. To experience that level of happiness again, they would have to endure another turbulent flight—but no one would want that.
Returning to the example of food, the initial joy of eating comes from the temporary reduction of craving. Craving anything associated with the six senses—sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touches, or thoughts—creates mental pressure, which can be referred to as “vexation”. This craving is rooted in the delusion that external things contain intrinsic pleasure. When the desired sensory input is received, the craving and vexation temporarily decrease, creating the illusion that pleasure comes from the object itself. However, no sensory input can ever bring lasting contentment. Even when craving subsides momentarily, it will inevitably return because the delusion remains.
This is why addictions never seem to have an “end.” Whether it is pornography, alcohol, video games, or daydreaming, people indulge in these activities for years but never feel truly satisfied.
True Liberation from Vexation
It doesn’t have to be this way. Once we realize that pleasure does not come from external things but rather from a coping mechanism to relieve experienced vexation, our attachment to them begins to fade. True and lasting satisfaction cannot be achieved by burdening our minds with deceptive cravings.
By eradicating the primary defilement of Delusion, we also eradicate Desire, which in turn eliminates Aversion. This is the key to purifying the mind.
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Hello.
If anyone wishes to deepen their understanding of how this vexatious cycle works. I recommend the two videos below, especially the second one. It explains in detail how this process happens.2 users thanked author for this post.
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