[sybe07]

When i started to study and practise buddhism, i admit, i thought the ending of suffering would be in this life, as a human being. I imagined i would be without illnesses, pain, discomfort etc.

I think i have become more realistic, a little bit. Illness, old age and his problems, pain, kamma vipaka is still there. Somethings have to be accepted. This acceptance, is, i feel, very important.

I belief it is also wise to accept that there will be affliction when there is responsibility. A parent, a school-teacher, a doctor, a nurse, whoever, feeling responsible for the welfare of others, wanting the best, how can such a mind not be afflicted? How can it not be in some way burdened with expactations, hopes, dreams, longings, worries?

What are your thoughts?

Siebe

[Lal]

All those things that you describe are true for anyone, Siebe.

That is part of the suffering that people tend to ignore. Life is a struggle, and we normally do not feel most of the suffering because our minds are focused on perceived benefits in the future.

But by the time one works hard and get to the top of their profession (if one is lucky), one is at the old age and is getting close to death.

It may sound too blunt, but that is the reality. Think about all those who reached their peak 10-20 years ago, and how they are doing now (if they are still alive).

[Akvan]

Hi Siebe,

You mentioned that if someone has some kind of responsibility towards another that they will invariably have some kind of affliction. This is true when we look at things at a glance. But if we dig deeper it may appear otherwise.

Let’s take a teacher who is responsible for a class of say 20 students and his intention is for all of them to get a good grade (an A) in the exam. However a teacher will know that all students are not capable of getting an A. So a teacher will teach to the best of his ability, catering to the individual capabilities of the students. The happiness or fulfilment of the teacher will not depend on the absolute grade that the students receive. For example if student X has the potential to get an A but receives a B the teacher will be disappointed. On the other hand if the teacher thought that student Y can only get a C and he gets a B, the teacher will be happy. So it is clear that it is this expectation that ultimately causes happiness or distress.

As a teacher, however responsible you are towards a student’s future, it is ultimately up to that student to do what he is told to. And as a teacher you have no control over what the student does. The teacher can only teach to the best of his ability, but if the student doesn’t want to learn, however capable he is, there is nothing more a teacher can do. This is the case for doctors, parents and other such people as well. When one realises this, one can perform his duties and responsibilities, without being distressed or worried.

[Author]

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