[Yash RS]

I don’t know how but I started to question things like “Why do I exist?”, Why am I in this Sansara? Why haven’t I attained parinirvana in this infinte sansara? Why isn’t everything parinirvana? 

Then I unknowingly started to feel fear and aversion towards existence itself, but I realised lately I was generating Vibhava Tanha.

I think because of my problems in life I got to this level.

I started to experience Existential Crisis. 

The way I used to feel amazing about the dhamma suddenly got stuck with such thoughts and was afraid to listen to the dhamma because of such feelings. But I continued to have regular meetings with the bhikku.

This feeling of that Sansara is suffering and my life has so much problems, I started to generate Vibhava tanha.

I will be visiting the monastery sooner as the bhikku suggested me for that environment and clarity.

Any comments of what should I do?

[Lal]

Yes. It appears that you need one-to-one sessions with a teacher. I provided my input in response to your earlier comment in a different thread. As I pointed out, many people equate Nibbana to “cease existing” and thus become fearful of following the Noble Path. The solution is to fully understand that Nibbana does not mean the end of an “existing soul-type entity.” I don’t think discussing that in detail is possible in this forum.

• If you like, you can let us know the outcome of the meeting; this is a personal issue, so we understand if you don’t.  I hope it will help you get on track.

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Yash RS

[cubibobi]

If we put things in terms of “ceasing”, I recall the words of a bhikkhu some time back that stuck with me: “Only dukkha arises and only dukkha ceases”. From that, I take nibbana to be the complete cessation of dukkha, and nothing more.

Questions such has “Why haven’t I attained nibbana in this infinite samsara?” or “Why isn’t everything parinibbana?” have driven some people to an intellectual maze, and I’ve seen that too. There is a thread somewhere about how bizarre infinity can be. The only thing we can do is to appreciate the opportunity to be in a Buddha Sasana and the urgency to attain nibbana.

Hope this helps.

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Yash RS

[Lal]

The post cubibobi referred to is: “The Infinity Problem in Buddhism.”

• I just revised it to add new links.

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Yash RS

[Christian]

Those questions appear in mind because you do not understand Dhamma and they reflect your desires towards the world.

“Why do I exist?” because of Paticca Samupadda

“Why isn’t everything parinirvana?” because world is Anicca not Icca

” Why am I in this Sansara” because of Paticca Samupadda and your actions

“Why haven’t I attained parinirvana in this infinte sansara?” because you didn’t meet conditions like that. The infinity of Sansara is not the infinity we can think of.

It’s very easy to answer those questions for yourself as long as you can see true nature of the world and understand basic Dhamma concepts. Those answers need to be known on an existential level, not just on a conceptual.

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Yash RS

[Yash RS]

Thanks everyone for your responses 🙏🏻 

[Christian]

The aim of Dhamma, especially early on, is to leave a “state of confusion” and to have a stable existential base, which is the  result of understanding aspects that create confusion in your worldview and on which you build experience that is Sotapanna and above

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Yash RS

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