Thank you so much for the well-wishing! (Pun intended.)
Desire is pretty powerful for me, too, though in my case I believe not at the same level as the other poison of hatred and anger. Knowing how easily a firestorm of rage can whip up at the smallest infraction, I believe I need to direct most of my energies at uprooting that poison first before moving on to my addiction to junk food binges (especially when bored and depressed, hence the 50 lb weight gain) and then music. The latter probably doesn’t sound like a big deal, though when you consider:
- I’m more energized and strongly affected by sound than by sight.
- I’ve pumped my brain with all manner of songs in the past 3-4 months, rarely experiencing quiet.
- While many kinds of music can command my emotional state very well, nowadays I almost exclusively listen to songs with female Japanese singers.
- I can be as… energized… by a woman’s voice — especially if she’s singing — as specific specific features. (To put it as polite as I can.)
- I absolutely love Asian women.
Put the above together with my craving to listen to hard, heavy, aggressive music aaand…
If someone invented a “tanha detector”, I bet while listening to any the above, scanning mine would make the machine burst into flames! I’ve exercised listening to such songs and been so over-stimulated I ignored my body’s warning signs and hurt myself… several times…
Though even with the double-hit to testosterone, still not as 5th-pleasure-violating at my craving for junk food. As heated up as the above may make my mind, none of it hits my health and wealth as directly as stuffing myself to obesity on cheeseburgers and ice cream to “fill the void within”. So if I DO have to hack away at sense-pleasures, working on eating will have to come first!
Makes me worried (and not with just the exercise thing!). But I’m crossing my fingers such probable 3rd-vow breaking sense pleasures will — as Lal explains — just sort of drop away on their own so long as I’m progressing elsewhere. That’s the hope, anyway…