[Eric]

Furthermore, the whole “look good naked” goal has lead to much sorrow and lamentation. I began a few weeks of intermittent fasting following a ~4 month -750 calorie deficit to the point where I was always sore despite prescription painkillers, Biofreeze, and creatine. I got so low-energy and weak I could no longer Then after I decided I was done with the “extreme dieting” as my doctor called it, the past few nights I ate like a monster to the point of throwing up; I fear I am developing a binge-and-purge habit. I feel so guilty despite being so satisfied while eating junk food, or even just high-calorie homemade bread or something. I just can’t be satisfied with 3-5 lb of broccoli and 1/2 lb chicken breast; I am so tired of sinking so much of my life into cooking and cleaning up after cooking when that’s roughly what I do for 40 hours a week. I am so burnt out, I am tired of counting calories and macros, I want to just not care about diet anymore and eat whatever, but I am scared of getting obese again, I am in L and XL shirts for the first time in my adult life, after half a decade I still cannot hack it at balancing time and money and health and convenience. I hate being trapped by my intense craving for food.