So I revamped my methods.
Karuna bhavana procedure:
1) I can’t just do the bhavana here and there, skip some days, just do it when I feel likenit. Be strict about it. Do it everyday. Not skip.
2) 3 times or more per day. As much as possible throughout the day
3) Not mechanically, with no feeling. Each good will, not only one of them, recited it in a way so that I sense/feel the karuna. So that the karuna bhavana actually counts.
4) Share the merits of that karuna bhavana and all of my good deeds with all sentient beings.
One of my strategies to induce/trigger karuna is thinking or watching others suffering. Then recite the good wills. The suffering could be real or even fiction. Like your favorite movie, show, book, etc, where you saw a really heart wrenching event that made you cry. I imagine we’ve all been through something like this fictional character and worse many times rebirth after rebirth. It really works. At least for me it does. I feel the karuna within me. When I do this my karuna bhavana and recital of the good wills is a success. I can see the stark difference between this and when I don’t think about others suffering.
And a side note. The karuna bhavana does not have to be formal, like when sitting down. But whenever you get the chance(after you wake up, before you sleep, before eating, before drinking water, before brushing your teeth). Just choose 3 short wishes that really induce your compassion, and then wish it for all sentient beings.
The Okkha sutta says between someone serving food once in morning, once midday, and once evening vs someone radiating even a little bit of metta once in morning, once midday, and once in the evening-the latter would be more fruitful.
Okkha Sutta: Serving Dishes
“”Staying at Savatthi. “Monks, if someone were to give a gift of one hundred serving dishes [of food] in the morning, one hundred at mid-day, and one hundred in the evening; and another person were to develop a mind of good-will — even for the time it takes to pull on a cow’s udder — in the morning, again at mid-day, and again in the evening, this [the second action] would be more fruitful than that [the first].”
I’ve been doing this for about the past 3 months, and also sharing the merits of my good deeds and bhavana with all sentient beings everyday, pretty strict to the routine.
And these are the results/clear changes within me:
For the first time after a long while:
1) Momentary awareness has improved. When doing everyday tasks, I am more able to focus on that task.
2) I can actually concentrate on my breath. Getting better at not breaking the concentration too, like holding focus on the consecutive breaths. (This is also to help produce gaba, which helps with ocd and other anxiety disorders.)
3) I feel my body is more relaxed. Not as clenched/tense.
4) I feel the goosebumps and feel the karuna for not only one good will but majority of them, and many times all of them, as if I’m able to sustain on karuna for that duration.
I think I was able to achieve all that because my dosa/asavas have reduced/weakened. That is why my concentration improved. Due to diligently doing the karuna bhavana everyday these past three months.
Lobha/dosa/moha are the akusala, and asavas and pancanivrana.
They are what hinder our meditation, concentration, samadhi, and practising the Path .
The Buddha said the antidote to dosa is adosa.
Metta/karuna are very strong versions of adosa.
Thus some of the greatest antidotes to dosa/asavas.
Means they will help in reducing and weakening the dosa from our minds.
I have noticed my hatred is not what it used to be. I feel it melting away.