My experience and a question

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Christian 3 months ago.

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  • #20781

    Aniduan
    Participant

    Experience:
    Ever since I grasped the Tilakkhana(a little bit) I was able to experience the cooling down that Lal mentioned several times in his articles and recorded desanas. My family relationships have improved, I don’t get angry that easily, even if I get angry it lasts only a few minutes. I also I quit alcohol completely. I reduced my attachment to sense pleasures and reduced my anxiety about future. I no longer crave for nice things(e.g. big expensive house, nice car, tasty food etc.) thus I was able to reduce lobha. I was also able to reduce moha as I now completely believe in Buddha’s grand unified theory because I was able to experience the niveema by just grasping the Tilakkhana a bit. I have attended 10-day meditation courses in the past which didn’t helped a bit. Tilakkhana was the key to experiencing the cooling down.

    Big thanks to Lal for bringing Pure Dhamma, I feel myself lucky to have come across pure dhamma.

    Question:
    I still get angry at work place when someone does a mistake and tries to blame me for that. My anger is causing vaci shankara(keep hating them in my mind) and kaya shankara(displaying anger at them using words). Please note that I may be using incorrect terminology about shankara. But hopefully you get my point. Thus I did not reduce dvesha or dosa much when compared to my reduction in lobha and moha.

    I would like to know how will a person who achieved some magga phala handle this situation? Will that person ignore the blame even if one did not cause the problems? I am feeling it hard to refuse the temptation to go after the culprits.

  • #20782

    Lal
    Keymaster

    Glad to hear you are making progress, Aniduan.

    I think you have figured out the solution to your remaining problem: “I still get angry at work place when someone does a mistake and tries to blame me for that. My anger is causing vaci shankara(keep hating them in my mind) and kaya shankara(displaying anger at them using words)…”

    You have understood vaci sankhara and kaya sankhara correctly.
    – As long as one keeps generating conscious thoughts of anger (vaci sankhara) and expresses that with speech and bodily actions, it will be hard to control.
    – This where the “effort” or “viriya” comes in.

    Try to control anger at them, even if it is their fault that makes you angry.
    – Try to reduce interactions with those who annoy you, if possible.

    Also try to do mundane metta bhavana specifically towards them first (wishing them be happy, peaceful, and healthy). Picture them in your mind as you do that. It may be hard to do at first, but you may be pleasantly surprised in the long term.
    – Then also do Ariya metta bhavana towards all beings. Think about the suffering of those beings in the lower realms (including the animal realm) and wish them to be released of such suffering.
    – Another thing is to think about bad consequences of generating bad thoughts/speech/actions, AND the possible good consequences of being able to suppress them.

  • #20787

    Johnny_Lim
    Participant

    Think of it as reaping your own Kamma Vipāka for some unwholesome kamma you had done in the past. You could have done the same thing onto those colleagues in past lives. On the other hand, spread goodwill to them. Not because they deserve it. It’s just that we need to cultivate our good will. That is more important than anything else.

  • #20815

    Akvan
    Participant

    Hi Aniduan,

    Just like Johnny mentioned all this is vipaka for previous kamma we have commited. One thero mentioned a good simili to overcome such situations. This has helped me immensly so I thought I should share it here.

    The simili was of a postman delivering letters to us. When a postman delivers a letter we accept the letters without any hatred or attachment to the postman. For example, he may deliver a cheque with a bonus from our employer or a fine for speeding. We wouldn’t hug and throw a party for the postman if he delivers the bonus nor would we assault him if he delivers the fine. Why is is this? It is because we know that the bonus or the fine is something we deserve because of something we did before.

    In the same way should try to treat everyone (those who treat us well or scold us) just like a postman, because all of them are only only delivering our bonuses (good vipaka) and fines (bad vipaka) that we rightfully deserve.

    • #20817

      Johnny_Lim
      Participant

      Hi Akvan,

      The postman analogy is a very nice one. Thanks for sharing!

  • #20823

    Aniduan
    Participant

    Thank you everyone. All the tips you have suggested helps me immensely.

  • #20824

    Christian
    Participant

    There is no other way to attain Nibbana or getting of anger, depression or any hindrances than those 2 things.

    1) Anicca nature for permanent results
    2) Satipatthana and Anapana to clearly contemplate point 1.

    Why we get angry? Because thru anger we want to get what we want because we think it will make as happy if a person will be that way or situation of life we want to be will be like that we want. Those ideas are ridiculous if you really close to it. Thanks to Buddha Dhamma, Lal and other people that I can be free to the very big extent from a self-created drama by ignorance.

    Being angry at someone is that you believe in ICCA in a personal relationship. Nobody will make you happy EVER and nothing will make you happy ever, paradoxically understanding this will make you into something beyond happiness and unhappiness. Is the same pattern, the same way, and one direction but manifestation of ignorance seems endless.

    Remember to go gradually, do not worry that you are getting angry if you do not feel that you leap over into Sotapanna, you need to know how to root out every fetter and this is only known to Ariyas on at least Sotapanna level.

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