“For me” “What I think” “my experience” = wrong views.
I’m not a teacher, Buddha is. You have very wrong self-assumptions but rather than focus on them (hate, greed, and lust) you rather follow jhana. If you can follow up with jhanas then even the first one is enough to attain Nibbana, why pursuing them more when the first one is enough? Don’t be an example of addiction or attachment to jhana. :)
I would prefer for you to focus on Buddha Dhamma and jhana as the way you explaining things have no relation to what Buddha taught or Dhamma. The point of this site and forum I think is to show the right direction of understanding, try to follow it with the jhanas and you will benefit much more then what you are aiming for now.