@Lal Makes sense. Thank you for letting me know why I’ve yet to really “get” (except on an academic/intellectual level) all the stuff I’ve been reading and listening to over the years! Maybe also a case of too much brain, not enough heart?
@inflib Interesting insurance plan. I know thanks to my new phone that I walk about 13,000 steps every work day so I ought to ask my healthcare provider if they have a similar program.
Excellent job on habit-breaking! I’ll do my best to follow your wake; my biggest challenge, though, is how much my mind “changes” when I’m in certain emotional states. For example, when I’ve got the deep blues (or just bored in front of my computer; all those annoying mind-tugs to “hey, hey dude, order a pizza!” are irritating!), my rational brain “shuts off” and then it makes perfect sense to throw away >$50 on one restaurant visit to desperately try and make the hurting stop if only for a little while. Speaking of:
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Few days ago, after doing okay for a while, had a craptastic day at work and — thanks to my very bad habit of eating to feel better — I fell off the wagon yet again: >$50 for 3 guys’ worth of Chinese takeout. And I ate every bite except for a few bites of fried rice.
Decided to save about $5 on delivery and tip by ordering over the phone then biking about three blocks to pick it up. Was a huge order so it took about 20 minutes longer than usual, so I waited in their lobby.
Was calm, no background music, the only customer except others picking up their orders every so often. Only “noise” was (I’m guessing) the restaurant owner’s children laughing and playing. Both were very happy with their tablet games; one showed me excitedly saying.. something. I can’t understand little-girl-speak in my own language let alone Chinese!
I was reading PureDhamma (aimlessly flicking through random pages) in this relaxing environment all the while I myself was excited for my feast. Then I wasn’t. Then I calmed down. Then even more calm, until I realized I was neither hungry nor craving anymore. That’s about when I got my order, and all I thought was, “Oh.”
I still ate all up over the next three hours, and felt like garbage the next few days, but methinks I learned something here…
…maybe next time I’ve got the blues, the shakes, and the shudders to stuff myself ’til near-puking on >7000 calories of deep-fried pizza ice cream steaks or whatever — then awakening from my haze to be double-hit with “I just threw away 6 weeks of dieting..!” AND “I could have saved for a new bike, or bought a few CD’s (or an overpriced import), or that self-basting turkey roaster I’ve been eyeing for months..!” — I should instead sit down (outside on a park bench if need be), shut up, and fill my head with pure dhamma for about a half-hour?