“I think I ended up ranting more than I should have”
I didn’t take your words as a rant but as someone seeking advice or wisdom. Overall, I felt the things you said was appropriate and I’m glad you trusted us here asking for advice and sharing your thoughts and feelings. Besides on the internet or here PD, in my everyday lay life it’s very rare for me to come across people like you and others like PD members here whom have an affinity with the Buddha dhamma and similar teachers / teachings. I do hope to be of assistance to worldly beings, especially to those that are already practicing the mundane or supramundane Noble 8 Fold Path. When you feel it’s appropriate to do so and if it helps you to feel better or relieve some of your anxiety by sharing your thoughts and feelings here on PD or in a PM, please don’t feel bad about doing so. The advices / feedback you receive from others with the right conditions might be of benefit / help to you. Actually there’s much documentation on how writing or journaling can benefit mental health. Also I feel it’s one of the least harmful thing you can do to yourself or others.
“Regarding finding the person I shared a genuine interaction with, I’ve decided to drop the desperation.”
If you think about it, you have already pretty much exhausted all your options in trying to contact this person. Don’t you think it’s actually a good idea to drop this desperation since there’s really nothing much more you can do to contact this person? Actually since you said you have decided to drop this desperation and in your first post you mentioned, “My mind has been repeatedly seeking a “source” to latch onto. Unfortunately, women end up being that thought object, often leading to a pattern of anxious clinging and unhealthy attachments.” Now that you have accepted a job offer at a fortune 100 company. I’m not sure what you’re work environment will be like, but if it’s some kind of office job or require interaction with others on a daily basis. Do you believe you might eventually come across another person you’ll cling to anxiously like the person you mentioned of having previously interact with?
