It’s the sila of not taking what is not given. After the realization I had, Ive had this strong sense that cooking for myself would be fruitless because I would deprive others the joy of giving and that I should just wait for that urge to arise in someone else.
Also I cannot ask for a service that doesn’t come from the heart so I cannot ask for it explicitly. That is why I had a feeling it’s important to be around Sangha/“community” where you would naturally cook for each other. And Noble Sangha is important as inspiration because I need to get further on this journey.
So if I want to have food I have to cook for someone else to eat with me. The thing is that even that feels like somewhat of a waste of time as all I want to spend time on now is to understand and spread dhamma.
First of all to share with the people that I owe in my life (a lot of people!) and secondly everyone else who wants to learn. And for the people I owe, who haven’t asked to learn about dhamma, that can be to simply ask them What do you need help with and do that. If they would ask me to clean their backyard then that’s the thing.
Now that I think about it, if I were to cook it would be to enable More Noble Sangha to teach dhamma. Because when with other people I would rather spend my time helping with psychological issues/teaching dhamma (while cooking for them is no problem). :)It’s just a very big and sudden change in my view, or rather Feeling of life, that I’m trying to integrate in the best way possible. To a good part I’ve been able to explain gradually to my family and friends what’s happening, but I’ve also made misjudgments (wrong view) of what/when to share and how to express myself in front of some.
Thank you for asking that! Trying to type down what I’m feeling is a good way to understand these very things I want to make sense of.