Aloha Lal,
Thank you for such a thorough answer. Normally, I would not need to reply, but you wrote something the basically triggered the “crux” is my issue. I THINK you also kind of alluded to the remedy as well so I just wanted to reply in kind.
“Just think about the bad consequences of continuing that habit. You are WASTING VALUABLE TIME ON AN ACTIVITY that does not lead to any real benefit.”(capitals inserted)
– This is just it, I seem to be confused and bewildered by what is “meaningful”?! A dharma teacher of mine has a course called “making a suffering life meaningful”, and in it he mentions the exact same thing…that we are essentially wasting our time by not working on giving up our attachment to “this” life (in favor of looking at our life as potential to change our attitude/gathi/character vs. focusing on sense pleasures).
— So this is why I mentioned the confusion about the meditation. What behavior is useful and not useful? If I knew that I would essentially know what “anapana” is right? Anyway this is your general point to learning more dharma so I understand.
“Try to break that habit by switching to a better activity like reading or exercising (even walking is beneficial)…When you start calming the mind, you will be able to learn Dhamma easier.”
– I think I understand that what you are basically saying is…”meditation on the uselessness of addictive activities with no fruit > engage in wholesome activities > then when the mind calms down learn more dharma”.
— I can see the logic in this, it’s very simple to understand. The “fruitlessness” is really what I need to meditation on, hence what you said about the tilakhanna. Walking, yoga, qigong actually have long-term fruits, many other things do. It’s almost as if there is a spectrum, as if changing habits that produce better and better fruits will eventually lead to the ultimate…I don’t think you’re saying that but I can at least understand the idea of changing out fruitless habits with fruitful ones – even in a mundane sense.