After watching my thoughts (even moreso than usual) I believe the bulk of my bad kamma beeja generation comes from insulting thoughts imagined towards everyone, including myself. And/or sudden memories which leave me all fouled up depending on how foul my mood already was. I’ve done this (spontaneously? kamma vipaka?) as far back as I can remember, which is in the Top Three of why I tend to blast music at myself as much as possible and/or bury my head in mindless Internet/computer sense-pleasures. :(
Anyway, nowadays when I catch myself (except during an episode when I welcome self-immolation.. hrmph) I’m more likely to “whoa nope no-no-no stop” even if I still feel heated for a while and the Bad Thoughts keep popping back up like that one Whack-A-Mole carnival game. Maybe this is when I need to stop doing whatever I’m doing (if I can) and play chants and such?
But still, I need to come up with pleasant things with which to force out those Bad Thoughts other than imagined sense-pleasures I’ll never experience. Well, maybe not yet if it works: to spark lesser fires if they can keep out the bigger ones, then deal with them at the right time? Just ruminating.