Tien.
I am sincerely moved by this experience of yours, and am happy for you and for whoever else is likewise touched by it. No less so for your gratitude (extreme, limitless gratitude, would be the term, but I know of no single word for it) of Lal’s great work here.
For some weeks now I have been meaning to share my own experiences as to how I go about practicing Metta Bhavana, and this opportunity has now arisen, thanks to you. What I do is a combination of both Metta Bhavana and Pattidana.
Here it is relevant to know that up to a few years ago, I had this habit of flushing any crawling bug that happened to wander into my bedroom in the toilet. One day, right after I had done so with a slug, I stopped, motionless like a statue. I knew on the spot (in both senses) that that would be the last time. Since that day I keep an empty cardboard box waiting there to slide any crawling thing into and in which to then take it outdoors. Mosquitoes I still kill – if they survive the vapour-releasing mats I have in the room. I have however given thought to even this; they (only pregnant females bite, I read) need the blood for the reproduction process going on inside them. Their intention is not to cause others pain and harm at all, BUT the bite may be infectious, and I have suffered from a number of those in the past. So the accompanying thought, but with feeling and genuine concern attached, is : ‘sorry, fellow beings, I HAVE to do this; it will be quick and painless. In no time at all you will be in another body. Pardon me for the trouble’ .
I was saying: my Metta bhavana /Pattidana goes like this. I know that I am there ready to transmit this loving-kindness. I allow this Metta to swell for a while. When I can truly feel it – now it is not just a thought, I can feel that there is some power, some energy there, ready to be released – I see it in the form, but much smaller, of a light bulb or similar which emits photons of light in ALL directions (not the conventional 6 directions; I know the idea is the same). Now first I see where that Metta is reaching out to: literally everywhere- all inhabited planets and their 31 realms in any galaxy throughout infinite space, and instantly. My thought-words run something like: may all beings come to see how to free themselves from suffering, starting from the worst types and gradually further until they are free from all suffering, physical, emotional and mental. Even where a Buddha has not appeared in ages, may those beings there at least abstain from moral wrong-doing by deed, speech and mind and attain at least temporary relief in happier states of existence until that time when Dhamma becomes available there. Where their suffering consists in having to pay debts due to me, I forgive those debts. Where it I who owe them, for services rendered or wrongs committed,I hereby transfer to them all merits due to me ,so they will have at least one reason less for prolonging their stay in sansara.
This is more or less what is in my mind and heart. Of course, it is not memorized. I place emphasis on what words come at any given moment as a result of a particular detail in a thought/feeling. I try as much as possible not to use Pali words (only those I feel I have a full comprehension of) as I can express, even to myself, what I ‘have’ at any moment much better in English. At the end the thought-words are gone and only an ‘overall feeling’ remains. I stay there until the feeling dissipates.
After this is done, I see how much more I am getting than this little that I am giving. Beings are literally numberless in the universe(s) and as beings on this planet do Metta and Pattidana, so must others be doing right now on other planets. So I open up to that. I am getting so much more than I am giving. It almost seems unfair. I have reflected further on this (NOT during the meditation- too much ‘cold mind’): |Really and truly, in an infinite Existence, those doing meditations will be equally infinite, but even given only the estimated number of galaxies and the estimated number of stars in galaxies and taking a resultant average and the possible ratio of inhabited to (temporarily)uninhabited planets, a very, very conservative 1: 10,000, the number of beings engaged in meditation (and that where Dhamma IS available, which is the most significant minimizing factor and the one which prevents me from doing a true mathematical calculation) would still run into billions, I feel.
” I lost my Kama Raga.”
“I feel deeply grateful for the Pure Dhamma that Lal teaches. I wish, with whole of my heart, Lal will soon attain Nibbana, in this life
I am so glad that you have. I likewise wish Lal the same as you do. As to myself, I have not lost Kama Raga yet. A subtle strain of it remains and that because of attachment, I know. Therefore I do not aim beyond the Sakadagami stage for the time being (‘time’ in the sansaric sense of the word) of course.
Much Metta to all