Anxiety’s a form of greed? Hmm, never thought of it that way before. After pondering your post a bit it makes sense: I’m WAY too greedy to cross the finish line barely out of the gate, even moreso before I’ve stepped onto the track! I’ve always been this way, always been the kind to dive right into the deep end head first. You’d think I’d’ve learned that lesson by now after my recent episode of getting so gungho on losing that last bit of flab on my thighs and belly (thanks to attachments to my looks & health, in that order) my doctor practically ordered me to stop intermittent fasting and start strength training. (May my recent experiences serve as a warning for all your endeavors.)
Anyway, I’ve calmed down (sorry for the outburst, again) and considering my lifestyle, situation, quirks, weaknesses and strengths, I’m going to…
1) Follow the 80/20 Rule: 80% of results come from 20% of effort. Since I seem to have more viriya than the rest of my mental faculties put together, I need to be religious about the 80/20 Rule, in all my endeavors.
2) Don’t sweat the small stuff, don’t worry about any holes but the big ones and let the small ones take care of themselves eventually. First big hole I’ll attempt to patch by repeatedly reflecting on my conscious thoughts — take away perpetual stimulus of entertainment and here comes a flood of peleema. I’ll keep close watch on my mental consciousness for all those seemingly sourceless surges of negativity (especially anger) to which I’m very prone.
3) Some of the small stuff I’ll try to avoid worrying about: wrong views about gandhabbas and so on & heat-but-not-fire sense-pleasures. (I’ll go ahead and occasionally enjoy my junk food, video games, anime and such as I have been — only which I’ve bought though, no more piracy!)
4) Dhamma and meditation are medicine, not a diet. In other words: don’t force it as that’ll just distress me more. For example, if I’ve been reading so much it’s making my head spin, STOP and follow the advice in Morrowind: “You should rest and meditate on what you have learned.”
5) Otherwise just stick to avoiding/stopping the Ten Immoral Acts, breaking the Five Precepts as much as I can, and whenever I get a chance do one of the Ten Meritorious Deeds. Have faith that avoiding the Ten and upholding the Five will bring me 80% the way there. And think of it the same way as sticking to a nutrition/meal plan: long-term, as in once I get the ball rolling after a few weeks of effort don’t expect to notice even the slightest change until months have passed.
6) After a while, then I’ll start working on minor bad (but not necessarily immoral) habits since all my major/immoral ones will be mostly covered by avoiding the Ten and upholding the Five.