Siebe,
Look back upon your past life experiences and your current day-to-day life. Also examine the lives of people around you. Do you agree with The Buddha that there is dukkha in life? The world is burning with passion, hatred and delusion, isn’t it?
If you agree that there is dukkha, next examine Buddha’s teachings with an open mind. The ultimate aim of Buddha’s teachings is to stop the rebirth process and hence to end dukkha.
The Buddha has many noble and unsurpassed qualities. One of these qualities is that He has foremost knowledge of the nature of this world of 31 realms. Thus when He says that this world has the dukkha characteristic in it, it certainly bears listening to.
He has also seen how beings are reborn according to their kamma, and has immensely great power to go back many aeons in time to review the past lives of beings. He has profoundly deep historical knowledge, way more than any historians could ever hope to amass.
He has ultimate compassion and always acts with the interest and welfare of beings in mind.
He utters no falsehood and has stated that what the unenlightened world sees as happiness, He sees it as unsatisfactoriness or suffering, and what the unenlightened world sees as suffering, He sees it as happiness.
He has stated that His teachings are about dukkha and the cessation of dukkha, and has urged beings to practise so that they may put an end to rebirth and sansaric suffering or unsatisfactoriness.
He has also stated that His Dhamma is profound and hard to understand. That is no wonder too, seeing how much of the rest of the world finds it hard to accept.
If you think that there is any way to end dukkha while not ending rebirth, that would be at odds with The Buddha’s teachings. If you practise with these conflicting desires in mind, do you find it beneficial and helpful in the long run over years? Do you think agitation, disillusionment, and stress would likely decrease?
I, too, found it shocking at first, when I wondered if there would really be no way to exist permanently in Nibbana. But I realized that with that mindset, one could never really be free and happy even in much of a mundane sense in this current life. So I have practised letting go, and the results are really liberating, even if only in a mundane way.
I feel so much, much more carefree and at peace, not having to worry about whether I will cease to exist if I ever reach Parinibbana (of course attaining Parinibbana requires an immense amount of effort over many lifetimes).
You, too, would be doing yourself a world of good, if you stop being so concerned about whether or not you will continue to exist after achieving the ultimate goal of Buddhism.
After all, it is much, much better to live a lifetime of peace than a lifetime of half-heartedly resisting Buddhism and not experiencing the peace you could have as a result of fully accepting Buddhism, all because you became obsessed with what happens after Parinibbana.
I hope this helps.
