[Alay]

Hi,

I would like to have some details on the proper meaning of Dvesha given the following scenarios:

1. An individual engages in talking bad or making fun of all those who are not present in a gathering. As a result, the host decides not to invite this person for any future gatherings.
   Is this considered to be a result of dvesha on the part of the host?

2. A person (B) is invited to a host’s gathering (persons A, C, D) and is accused of wrong doing (by A, C and D) of things that B did not commit.
   B denies the accusations and decides not to visit any further gatherings of A, C and D.
   Is this considered to be a result of dvesha on the part of A?

3. M sees N on a street and recognizes N as a person who talks ill of others. M avoids meeting N.
   Is this considered to be a result of dvesha on the part of M?

Raga:

X meets Y on the street. X knows Y to be an old friend and inquires about Y.
The discussion is on Y’s family and how the kids are faring etc…

At what point does “Raga” come into play?
Is it if the two discuss someone else’s action or slander another?

With Metta

[Lal]

Dvesha is Sanskrit word, the Pali word for hate/angry is dosa.

In most of these situations, whether dosa arose in the mind of the person in question depends TOTALLY on that person. Some actions that may appear to be taken with dosa, may actually be due to compassion for all involved.

1. The individual making fun is likely to be acting with dosa or avijja (just having fun not realizing it is a bad thing to do).

– The host may get angry at that and not invite him in the future. But it is also possible that the sees that the individual is “bad company” for everyone, and that could be done with compassion.

2. Whether B committed the wrong doing or not, bringing that out in public could be done with dosa.

– But if A knows for sure that B had committed the wrong doing, and would like others to avoid B, then it could be done with compassion for others.
– It really depends on the mindset of A. In the language of Abhidhamma, the question is whether asobhana etasika or sobhana cetasika arise in the mind of A. It cannot be both at any given moment, and only that person would know.

3. Could be either way, as above.
4. The last one on raga is the same. It really depend on what kind of things are discussed. Just asking about Y’s family is a courtesy, as long as it does not get “out-of-hand” asking too many details. Again, it also depends on how close they are.

The bottom line is that only the person in question will truly know. We cannot judge by looking from outside.

By the way, avoiding “bad company” is a MUST to cultivate the Path. Making “good friends” is a must too. However, here “good/bad” are not in the mundane sense. These days, people who go drinking together or hunting together are assumed to be “good friends”. A truly good friend would be one who helps the other to stay away from such activities.

[Alay]

Thank you for the excellent clarification. Greatly appreciated.

[Author]

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