Hello there Eric
“Maybe also a case of too much brain, not enough heart?”
“…and fill my head with pure dhamma for about a half-hour?”
I am glad to see that you are making progress, albeit it seems to be on-and-off, sporadic, if you like. Still, now at least you know what should be done, that some measure of control is necessary, even though you know quite as well that that will not always be possible. Being sincere with yourself is the first step.
Now I see a connection between the two quotes above. That is why I am writing.
We know that the seat of the mind and that of the heart lie very close together. For this reason, when I find myself in an emotional state, which is most often the case with me, I connect this with a dhamma concept and take off from there. In my younger years I was ‘all head’ with the heart sealed and the key tossed away somewhere I cannot remember. Moreover, whenever I am in neutral mode (the bhavanga state) for a stretch of time (this is where the allure of the senses have their field day, hence the danger ! I am sure you know EXACTLY what I mean by that)) and therefore am off dhamma completely for a couple of days, it is easier to connect to the heart through some emotional experience one had lived than force the intellect button ‘on’.
This is only my experience. With others it may not work, or some other way would instead. I say it in the hope that it may connect with something that you can work on.
Metta