A few days ago, methinks I broke the 2nd precept with:
1) Particular piece of dessert at work (my job is at a restaurant) I’ve always wanted to try
2) With two other coworkers, taking it out of the walk-in freezer
3) Half-jokingly ask if there were any “broken” ones (ie, cannot be sold)
4) One coworker is confused, the second mentions I’ve always wanted to try one, the first coworker stabs a finger into it and says to the effect of, “it’s ‘broke’ now!”
5) I greedily devour it, then realize I had not only gained by immoral means (taken a $3.50 cake without paying) but set up for future 3rd and 5th precept breaking (I have a huge & probably insoluble problem with cravings to binge-eat [especially sweets!] when experiencing any strong “low” emotion from boredom to depression, and I would definitely call my comfort-food craving [which isn’t hunger or anything akin] an addiction [from powerful desire to the act itself to the simultaneous satisfaction and guilt] that drags me off the Path)
Then yesterday I ate junk food like crazy, especially that philly cheesesteak pizza — kamma coming to fruition? Or mere continuation of my lifelong vicious circle of comfort-food binging?
In any case, there are several shirts and pairs of shorts I bought not long ago that do not fit anymore… and I’m disgusted by my chubby face, thunderous thighs, bouncy belly… and I’ve got a perpetually sore and swollen left ankle that my aunt (nurse practitioner) says is edema… and my lifetime of back issues have gotten way worse to the point of NEEDING potentially-dangerous levels of painkillers to survive a work day!