Dhamma123: There is nothing there to backup your claim: ““Which is why Lord Buddha never said his lay followers must always avoid violence, in fact he did advice Kings to have armies and police personnel.”
In any case, in your first post on this topic you said: “I have some sense of fear when it comes to pain, I pressume it has to do with aversion to pain.”
Everyone is afraid of pain. No one likes the pain and tries to avoid pain.
I am not sure why you think it is just you.
The solution is always to live a moral and simple life, avoiding extreme greed and extreme anger first. Our minds are stressed with excess greed and hate that arises due to ignorance of the real nature of this this world.
If you like, you can read some of the posts in this section:
Living Dhamma – Fundamentals