y not said: “I admit I am confused about this. In the case of Gatikata, would it be that he renounced Arahanthood ( where all attachment ceases) for the sake of caring for his parents, perhaps even into future lives? The question, at the very base of it, is: How can attachment when it is through genuine and unselfish love for some one be of any negative or hindering effect to the giver IN ANY WAY whatsoever?”
This is a good question. There are two aspects to this issue and I am glad that you brought it up.
- On one hand, the need to “pay back previous debts” may come to the forefront of some people’s mind when this situation arises.
- On the other hand, there are others, who don’t feel strongly that way (because most of their debts to the other person(s) in question have been paid off (even though those other people may still face a rough time if left alone by themselves.
In the above, I gave the example of Gatikara for the first.
There is another sutta relevant to the second case, which describes a situation where a husband leaves the family and becomes a bhikkhu. One day the wife comes to see him with the baby and blames him for leaving the child to herself and set the child by him and pretends to leave. She goes away from his sight and starts watching him to see whether he will take the child. The bhikkhu is unmoved, and she finally comes and takes the child away.
– So, in this case, the bhikkhu had totally removed any attachment to the family.
It is VERY IMPORTANT to realize that both thoughts process in the above two cases are AUTOMATIC, based on the gati of Gatikara and the bhikkhu. It is not that Gatikara forcefully made himself committed to his parents. Also, it is not that the bhikkhu took “hard line approach” and refused to go back to lay life to take care of the family.
The problem is that it is very hard for us to judge these situations from the outside. Human mind is very complex, and it is almost impossible for others to see what is going on in the mind of any given person.
It is interesting to note that Buddha praised the bhikkhu for the way he handled the situation. Of course a Buddha can read anyone’s mind and he knew that the bhikkhu COULD NOT go back and STAY a householder even if he tried to do that by force. His mindset had changed permanently. He had given up all attachments, and to his mind, there was no difference between his family and any other. Anyone who is not at or close to Arahanthood cannot even imagine that.